Posted by Leif Irgens on February 16, 2005 at 15:29:25:
In Reply to: Re: manners and nosey questions posted by Kerry Rehm on February 16, 2005 at 13:48:11:
I think Kerry hit the two main reasons for asking people about their time.
1. The obnoxious: If I beat you and I don't like you, it's a chance to see how much I beat you by and rub in it.
2. The kind and/ or caring: If I like you, I really want to know how you did. Some people will walk right up to you and tell you how they did. Others operate on the Emily Post "Ms. Manners" agenda that, if you want to know or care, you will ask them. The only way to find out is . . . DUH . . . to ask them. Asking how they did is a good albeit obvious way to start a conversation with a friend.
This is why I've developed the "how do you feel about your race"? approach. It allows people to put their answer into whatever context they feel appropriate without the undertones of "I did better than you". When I finish a race, I WANT to know how my friends and team-mates did. I want to talk to the people I train with about their races. I want to offer encouragement when they're discouraged and congratulations when they've reached an accomplishment. As for those who want to rub my nose in a defeat, to those people, I say "well, my leg fell off at the second water stop and I had trouble re-attaching it . . ."